Why is it called football when you can use your hands?

I'm in the middle of a rather asinine debate on a message board over the use of the word soccer for the game that the rest of the world calls football. Never mind that the main voice in this debate is a kid from Finland who thinks that the US is going to become a huge football powerhouse and start dominating the world game, simply because he thinks we have a ton of money and interest in the game over here. I'd like to introduce him to the cadre of sportswriters in the next room who, if they woke up in bed after a one-night stand with soccer, would chew their own arms off to get away from it. Yes, in the US, soccer is the coyote ugly of the sportswriters' world.

Anyhoo, it still boggles my mind that the game referred to around the world as American football has the football moniker. Why? Yes, I know the history and all, but why still call it that, and is there a good substitute that we, as fans of real football, could call it? I personally have been calling it JohnMaddenBall, but no one listens to me.

I am mad at either MLSLive.tv or my DSL provider, because the DC United game against Colorado kept freezing on me. It's probably a good thing for me, from what I hear DC thought it was last year and played accordingly. And what with last week being finals week for me, I didn't catch more futbol than that. I did, however, manage to vote for the guys I'd like to see get pantsed by Chelsea at the MLS All-Star game. My simple rule -- if you went to the World Cup, I'm not voting for ya. Yes, that rule would have been suspended if Frankie Hejduk had gone, but still. Those guys are getting a lot of face time anyway, and besides, they're going to be out of MLS for months, so they're not exactly representational, was my flawed thinking. Regardless, if my darling Alecko Eskandarian does not make this team, there's something wrong with the world in general. I also threw in a vote for Troy Perkins, who has turned out to be my most profitable fantasy pick. As much as I really like Nick Rimando, I'm sticking with Troy, he's a keeper keeper.

And hey, look, a new team name that seems to be unremarkable and yet classic. I'm all for Toronto FC although isn't it time we let an AC come in? Or SC -- Soccer Club -- since that's what we call it here. Ick, no, I don't like that. And did I miss something, or does this skew the team numbers into an odd 13? Or is 2007 the year when the Philly-NJ startup also takes off?

I completely missed last week on every game except the obvious ones -- like the Crew beating RSL and New England beating the Galaxy, but I was terribly surprised by the spread on that one. But I'll try again, here we go:

Houston vs. Dallas
Dammit, it turns out that I am interested in this game after all. Not so much for the whole unnamed cannon thing, but just because it's looking kinda juicy, what with Houston's win last week over Dallas. This week it's in Frisco, and Brian Ching is gone to USMNT training camp. There are a lot of Brian Ching naysayers out there, but I think he's fantastic, although I'm not sure he's the thing that keeps Houston on top ... er, almost on top. I'm thinking that Dallas will win this one, simply just because they're somewhat better than Houston on any given Saturday. But I'd like it better if Houston won again.

New England vs. Chivas
It's a crazy world if New England beats Chivas with fewer gols than they beat Cup Champs the LA Galaxy, and it's even crazier if Chivas actually beats New England. I think Taylor Twelleman is still sufficiently pissed about being in the USMNT reserves to score up a big game, so New England will probably have this one. But I'm betting on crazy and a huge Revs injury list and say it'll only be by 1 with at least one Chivas gol.

New York vs. Chicago
This is my "I don't care" game this week, so I don't have much to say about this one, other than I think it'd be nice if the game ended in a draw to keep up both teams' records.

Crew vs. Rapids
I know that the Crew are starting to pull it together, but really, so are the Rapids, and Colorado'll probably bounce off last weeks win to get another this week. The Crew's injury roster reads like a novel, and the Rapids really aren't going to be stung by Pablo Mastroeni being gone to play for his country, since he really hasn't done so much this year.

Galaxy vs. Real Salt Lake
Just for funsies, I'm going to go out on a wild limb. Maybe this is the week that RSL decides to stop being everyone's biotech (yeah, when my brain reads this word it always scrambles it to another word) and break thatn 18-game losing streak. It would be the jewel in the shame crown for LA to lose to Salt Lake, especially if they lost badly, and a supercoup for Real to win. Normally I don't care for RSL, but they've officially hit under-underdog status, so I feel for em. Go RSL.

DC vs. KC
Ooooh, and this is, for me, the game of the week. It's the battle for first in the East between my two favorite teams, and I'm all a twitter about it. Easily, I want DC to win, and while KC has been thumpingly good this season, they've just lost a heavy trio of players -- Conrad, Wolff and Johnson -- to training camp. Even though they've been hot-potatoing around the gols, in that just about all of them have been scored by a different player, three good, solid players is still a hit. DC, on the other hand, is at home, they're needing a win to get over last week's Colorado debacle. If they don't choke, DC will win. I'd prefer it be a 1-0 win, however, since my fantasy team is packed with players from both teams, and that's about as good a victory as I can wish for, fantasywise.